You have everything you need to awaken to yourSelf, in this moment. What is required, is for you to see non-conceptually, what is here, in front of you, and to notice what is doing the "seeing." It is really as simple as this: find the "knower", find the "known" and find the "knowing" in your experience. Clarity is accessible in every moment. To everyone.
When you see the reality of what is actually happening, all of your ideas about it will have no meaning. You will see that all constructs are not it. You will see that the "separate personal self" which you once believed yourself to be, was illusory. Your true nature possesses no quality that can be conceived.
You WILL know yourself as much greater than a thought could ever capture. You are pure Beingness. You will feel the fullness of your experience and complete sufficiency in the awareness of yourself.
There is nothing but Reality, and you are That.
One Knowing. One Love.
Silence is Speaking.
It often helps to speak with someone to resolve confusion in these matters. Ultimately, it is a matter of becoming clear about What Is and Who you are. It is a matter of clear seeing. Continue to persevere.
If you are referred to me, or if you find me on your own, I'm happy to speak with you. I don't do this for a living and I don't charge people. Donations are welcome, and we will run occasional lotteries from the donated proceeds to give people the opportunity to attend a retreat or buy a book or two.
My approach is agnostic to any teaching, but I am influenced by Advaita Vedanta, the Direct Path, Kashmir Shaivism, the Fourth Way, and the study of esoteric poetry and esoteric scriptures from all traditions.
The unreal never is, the real never ceases to be. Bhagavad Gita
Know yourself, or know your being, because you are not but you do no know it.
Ibn 'Arabi
Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows. Nisargatta
Truly the world never exists, the world was never created, when inquired into fully all things that seem different from Brahman, which is the substratum of all, will be seen to be only Brahman, the Reality and nothing else.
Ribhu Gita
There is no reality but God, meaning oneness. Open into that.
Bauhaddin
I fear you are walking the walks of dreams, I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your feet and hands.
Walt Whitman
Life is only Real when I Am
Gurdieff
The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God's eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.
Meister Eckart
Stay then, in this stillness so heavenly, that the poets reach it in high lonely moments.
Letters from A Scattered Brotherhood
Your old life has been a frantic running from the silence.
Rumi
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
William Blake
Through angers, losses, ambition, ignorance, ennui, what you are picks its way.
Whitman